“The Ideal Christian Woman.”

I really appreciated this article by Wendy Alsup of Mars Hill Church in Seattle (found through Carolyn McCulley’s blog, Solo Femininity).

Some sweet excerpts:

“The godliest of Christian women . . . First of all, ‘godliest’ is a bad label. It implies we determine our godliness by comparing ourselves to others. ‘She’s godlier than that other lady, so that makes her the godliest.’ Wrong! Christ is our standard of perfection, and we all fall short of His glory.”

“If we want to paint a stereotype of the Ideal Christian Woman, she would first simply be honest about the condition of her heart . . . Oh that we would be a church of humble women who are honest about our sin. Instead, so often we are a mix of shame and pride. We’re ashamed of ourselves because of what others have done to us and what we, in turn, have done to others. And we’re too proud to admit it to anyone. We must become women who value confession.”

Coming to SD.

I’m coming to LBC Family Camp. So, so excited . . . I could burst!

(Haha, I hear the theme is “Emotions” . . . I could learn a thing, or two billion, about that . . .)

:]]]

Grace that is greater than all my sin.

“& the grace of our Lord overflowed for me with the faith & love that are in Christ Jesus. The saying is trustworthy & deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of who I am the foremost. But I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display his perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in Him for eternal life.” (I Timothy 1:14-16)

It’s been a while since I’ve reflected on my salvation. But I caught a cold a couple days ago, so I’m at home recovering today, bundled up & eating tangerines. As I was reading & browsing through some old files, I found the testimony I wrote a couple years ago.

I pray that, as you read it, you would marvel at the display of His perfect patience. I pray you would be reminded of His grace in your own life (if you are indeed His), or that you would truly come to know this God of grace as you turn from your sins & toward Christ. He is mighty to save, able to save to the uttermost . . .

God, who is a God of holiness, justice, & love, showed overwhelming mercy to me, a sinner. Although I didn’t know it at the time, I was born a slave to sin, already from birth rebellious to my Creator & my God, & seeking my own way. Although my mom was not a Christian, my dad was the college & youth pastor when I was younger, so I knew exactly how to act & speak in church. I fooled a lot of people into thinking I was good. Even myself.

My dad would often tell my brother & me to check our hearts, & we would often get in trouble for our attitudes rather than our actions. I hated it. I would angrily think, “Isn’t it good enough that I’m doing what you want? I can’t help my attitude.”

I saw no need for God, but I knew it was the right thing to go to church & be a “good Christian”. At church, I was one way . . . when I got home & when I went to school, I was a completely different person. I was no different from my friends who had no knowledge of the gospel. I pursued the same ambitions; I worshipped the same idols of self glory, money, & temporary pleasure; & I thought the same way they did about life & death – that I would never die or be held accountable for what was in my heart.

When I was around 12 years old, I [did "Christian" things], but my heart was still unregenerate. I didn’t know God. He was still just a story I heard in Sunday School. I believe He existed, but as James 2:19 says, my belief was no different from that of the demons who also acknowledge His existence. I knew He was there, but there was no repentance.

My pride was blinding me, & I had the heart of a Pharisee, lining up my “good works” & “religious deeds” as though they merited me something before a righteous God.

Mark 7:20-22 says, “& He [Jesus] said, ‘What comes out of a person is what defiles him. For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within, & they defile a person.’”

& when I think about how Christ’s harshest condemnation was reserved for the religious Pharisees, I can’t help but wonder in awe at the love of God that would save me even in spite of my hypocrisy, my pride, & my blatant disregard for Him.

Toward the end of my junior high years, God began to use a series of events in my life to humble & break me. My heart was so hard . . . when my family had to leave the church I grew up in, I told my friends there that I would have nothing to do with God until I came back.

But shortly after, two people very close to me tragically passed away, my family was ostracized by those we’ve known & loved for so many years, my parents were considering & in the process of writing out divorce papers, & the Korean economy nosedived just long enough to bankrupt my dad’s two businesses.

I realized I wasn’t in control of my life . . . but sin was in control of me. By His grace, He showed me what I deserved (eternal death & punishment in hell) because of my willful sins before & toward a holy God who looks at the heart, not just appearances . . . a holy God whose delight isn’t in mere religious sacrifice but loving obedience to Him from the heart.

He helped me to finally understand the truths I was taught growing up in the church. I should have known the fullness of God’s wrath, but instead I was shown mercy, because Jesus Christ, the Son of God, willingly laid down His life in my stead, & rose again.

Isaiah 53:4-6 says, “Surely our griefs He Himself [Jesus] bore, & our sorrows He carried; yet we ourselves esteemed Him stricken, smitten of God, & afflicted. But He was pierced through for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; the chastening for our well-being fell upon Him, & by His scourgings we are healed. All of us like sheep have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; but the LORD has caused the iniquity of us all to fall on Him.”

I am now covered in Christ’s righteousness. I can call Almighty God my Abba, & He calls me His own.

When I’m tempted to despair again under the guilt of the sin & pride that still dwells in me, I remember Christ’s words on the Cross: “It is finished.” I’ve been forgiven. Sin no longer has mastery over me. I’m free to live for my Lord. & one Day, all the traces of my former slavery will be completely removed.

He saved me, not by my works or because I was deserving of His care toward me, but because of His mercy & by His grace. A hymn I love says it well, “Nothing in my hand I bring, simply to Thy cross I cling.”

Praise God . . . for His love, for the Cross, for the empty tomb. May we praise Him together & bring other fellow sinners to praise Him, too, until we see Him face to face, to praise Him forever.

“To the King of ages, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor & glory forever & ever. Amen.” (I Timothy 1:17)

Southern Cali Fires.

Please be praying for our friends in Southern California.

Over 250,000 people have been evacuated in San Diego. Many dear friends & church family are among those 250,000 . . . suddenly, it’s not just a cold fact, a cold number anymore.

An encouraging excerpt in an email from LBC’s Pastor John:

This is obviously a big challenge for everyone to face and we must face it first and foremost considering how we might trust God through this, even if it means losing all that you own. Remember that the things of this world are passing and that what matters most is our standing with God and our relationships with people.

This excerpt meant 10 times more to me knowing that he & his family have evacuated their home as well . . .

Proverbs 3:5-6.

The Littlest Cousin.

I love it when my little cousin, Alisa, writes me a note. She usually writes it sitting next to me, as I’m working on something or studying.

She’ll usually talk a little to herself as she writes it. Sometimes, she’ll pause, look up at me, & ask, “How do you spell ___?” Usually I respond, “Spell it as best as you can first.” (I admit, I think notes from little kids with misspelled words are adorable . . . so I show her the correct spelling after she’s written the letter.)

Here’s one she wrote today (can you figure out what she’s writing?):

to my cusit! From. Alisa. I love you!
I love my csit! becus she is so cide and she chich me to be good and she is rliy sweet and she chirs me up!
and I love my csit!

Yes, her view of me is extremely, unrealistically elevated.
But someday, she’s going to find out that I’m a sinner, too. The chief of sinners, as far as I’m concerned.
By the time (or when) that day comes, I pray she’d know the One who loves & died for sinners.

Sometimes, I wish they’d stay little forever :] She spells my name, “Ltichsha”.
But then again, seeing her walking with the Lord one day would bring me even greater joy . . .

Calvary Love (Teacher’s Edition)

(Adapted from Amy Carmichael’s poem, Calvary Love)

If I belittle those whom I am called to humbly teach, talk of their weaknesses as though I had none of my own; if I adopt a condescending attitude, forgetting that I am but a “jar of clay”, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I find myself characterizing my students by their lapses, “Oh, that’s what they always do,” “Of course, she always talks like that, he always acts like that,” then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I can enjoy a joke at the expense of a student; if I can in any way slight them in conversation, or even in thought, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I can speak an unkind word, give an unkind ‘look’ (a warning ‘look’ does not have to be unkind), or think an unkind thought without grief & shame, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I can rebuke or admonish without a pang, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If my attitude be one of cynicism, not faith, about one who has disappointed me; if I say, “Just what I expected” if a fall occurs, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I am afraid to speak the truth, lest I lose ‘rapport’, or lest the one concerned should say, “You just don’t understand,” or because I fear to lose my reputation for kindness; if I put my own good name before the other’s highest good, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I hold on to decisions of any kind, just because they are my decisions, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I am soft to myself & excuse any irritability, attributing it to the ’stresses of teaching’; if I do not by the grace of God practice love & self-control, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If, while admonishing a student for the second (or twentieth) time, I can list his (or her) entire record of wrongs & feel my frustration rising with each reminder, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I take offense easily, or if I am easily provoked to impatience & anger, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I feel bitter toward those who judge me, as it seems to me, unjustly, forgetting that if they knew me as I know myself they would condemn me much more, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If souls can suffer alongside, & I hardly know it, because I am “busy doing something right now”, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I hold every suspicion of misconduct as fact; if I refuse to listen to a student’s explanation by saying, “Oh, I’ve heard it all before,” then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I love to be loved more than to love, to be served more than to serve, to be heard more than to listen, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I can talk endlessly without allowing interruptions, yet freely interrupt my students when they speak, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If, in the course of the year, I grow particularly fond of certain students; if my fondness is based on their works alone, or if my fondness becomes favoritism, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If the daily hearing of my students’ struggles callouses me so that I cease to pray for them, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I love only the students who make my day ‘easy’, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I cannot uphold the rules with firmness & kindness; if I can never show grace in regards to the letter of the law, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I can be content simply with my students’ outward compliance; if I can be content never to pray for their hearts so long as they are outwardly behaved, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I slip into the place that can be filled by Christ alone, wanting to make myself the first necessity to my students instead of leading them to fasten upon Him, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If my students’ burdens are not my burdens, too, & their joys mine; if I can justify indifference with an excuse about professionalism, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I can only look forward to weekends, holidays, & school breaks; if I can only think of joy outside of the classroom, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If the ultimate, the hardest, cannot be asked of me; if my students hesitate to ask it & turn to someone else, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I cannot teach & yet remain teachable, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I covet students other than those He has sovereignly placed in my care, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

That which I know not, teach Thou me, O Lord, my God, my Teacher.

The Be[a]st Smile.

One of my favorite scenes from Beauty & the Beast:

Lumiere – “Ah yes, when she comes in, give her a dashing, debonair smile. Come, come. Show me the smile.”

In the movie, his smile is really brief, so brief that some might miss it.  (Sometimes, it’s nice just to pause the film & enjoy the still picture before moving on.)

One day, I’ll learn to smile like him.  I’m working on it :]

Straining forward.

Now that I’m used to it, I love waking up before the sun. Everything (in the house, on the street outside) is still hushed & sleeping.

& sometime during my drive to school, the sun rises (or is on the verge of doing so). I keep the radio & everything else off until the sun & the rest of the city rises, too. I think it’s my favorite time of day.

This morning, during this drive, I thought about how much time I spent looking backward this past year. I’ve been living off the dimming coals of past victories He’s given & past lessons He’s taught.

Meanwhile, moment after moment has continued to slip by, unredeemed.

Praise God for the things He’s done. But He’s not done yet.
Life’s not finished yet.
The chapter has ended, but the whole story has not.
The pattern of my life is still being pressed out day by day.

Philippians 3:10-14:
“That I may know Him & the power of His resurrection, & may share His sufferings, becoming like Him in His death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me His own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind & straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”

May the continued pattern of our lives bring Him glory – not just certain seasons in our lives, but the entirety of our lives.

Press on. Strain forward.

“If Thou but Suffer God to Guide Thee.”

Sweet, sweet hymn . . . I can’t even begin to number the times He’s used it to comfort & remind me . . .

 

“If Thou but Suffer God to Guide Thee”
by Georg Neumark, 1621-1681
Translated from the German text by Catherine Winkworth, 1829-1878
Updated just for the purposes of this blog from the Old English text, 2007

(To those who love the more archaic version, so do I! The Old English is beautiful, but it’s been “updated” on here just for the sake of comprehension.)

If you but yield to God’s guiding
& hope in Him through all your ways,
He’ll give you strength whatever befalls you,
& carry you through the uncertain days.
He who trusts in God’s unchanging love
builds on the rock that none can move.

What gain do your anxious cares bring you,
these never-ceasing moans & sighs?
What can it help if you lament
over every dark moment passing?
Our cross & trials only weigh
the heavier when we keep a bitter heart.

Be patient & wait for His timing
in cheerful hope, with heart content
to take whatever your Father’s pleasure
& His discerning love has sent.
& do not doubt that our deepest wants are known
to Him who chose us for His own.

Don’t think within the fiery trial
that God has cast you off, unheard.
Nor think that he whose hopes are never denied
must surely be the one whom God prefers.
Time passes & brings much change
& sets an end to everything.

All stand level before the Highest;
we know it is no difficult thing for our God
to raise you up though you are low,
& to make the rich man poor & humble.
He still accomplishes true wonders,
He who establishes & brings to nothing.

Sing, pray, & keep His ways without swerving,
do your own part faithfully,
& trust His Word. Though undeserving,
you shall yet find it true for you.
God never yet abandoned in time of need
the soul that truly, wholly trusted Him.

*

This hymn reminds me of Psalm 73, the book of Daniel, & I Peter all blended together in song. It reminds me of who He is . . . & how I am to trust Him.

Oops.

I accidentally called one of my freshmen “Christian” today.

I had the first part of her name right (Krist-), but I don’t know what happened to the latter part. I honestly must have had another brain glitch . . .

Last Friday, during an “into” activity for our next unit (about unveiling some of the stereotypes we personally face), 3 of my students shared that they were Mormons.

She was one of them.