Bloop bloop bloop, two days without stepping out of the apartment … worked from home, finished Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina (well written, uncanny observations about human tendencies, but thoroughly dissatisfying conclusions in philosophy and theology and life in general — hehe, somehow just can’t enjoy a well-told story, can I?), enjoyed the sounds of rain through our balcony sliding door, and had extra time to think things through.
Solitary confinement due to illness seems to be God’s way of slowing me down, reminding me to live thoughtfully rather than thoughtlessly, which is admittedly my default. Well, illness and heartache. He uses those two things wisely in my life.
I’ve had some more time to look around our apartment, consider our married life of 10 months, and imagine a little one smack dab in the middle of all of it. It’s made me smile, tear up, and wonder all at the same time. And it’s given me time to reflect on the kind of wife I am, the kind of daughter, friend, sister, coworker, in-law, one day mother … I suppose it’s overwhelming when I think of it in all those facets. But what kind of child am I to my Father? What kind of servant to my Master? What kind of soldier to my Captain? Just one point of reference. I’ll start from there. Well, let me backtrack just a little more. Let me start from Calvary. Or even further back, Bethlehem.
I’m really excited for Christmas. And JE finally caved and said I can start decorating before Thanksgiving!!
Can you tell I’ve been cooped up by myself for a couple days and can’t communicate a single thought in a straight line? Haha.
Time for dinner. Chicken soup with rice. Perfect for a rainy day. And thoughts like erratic raindrops. :]