*edit: JE just notified me that today is Tuesday, not Monday. Hahaha. Woops!
This morning, as JE came into the room so say goodbye to me, I woke and began asking him frenzied questions right away: Is the baby sleeping? Did you kiss him goodbye, too? Was he awake when you first woke up? Did you check? Are you sure? So, he isn’t sleeping right now? And my mind immediately began calculating what time he might have woken up, how much wake time is left, what that makes his rough schedule look like today, if I had any meetings to coordinate his feed times around, what my day would look like working from home. And as these thoughts were all running into each other in my head and questions were coming from my mouth, JE was calming me and saying, “I love you.” And then I kind of snapped out of it and remembered, “I love you, too.” The day and calculations and juggling could wait. Our relationship was important. It was good to fall back on that. He loves me. I love him.
Then he left. And it was time to feed baby, change him, play with him, put him back down, eat breakfast, get somewhat ready for the day (i.e., at least brush my teeth!). I looked at the clock. One hour ’til I need to check emails and start working for the day. I picked up my Bible and picked up where I left off. Proverbs 2. And as I read, my thoughts started swimming again: How can I impart this to baby? How can I use this in ministry? Oh, [this person] would be so encouraged by this today. (Pause to text the verse to [that person]). How does this apply to my life today? What can I learn from this passage? Why doesn’t my heart feel quiet yet?
I know, I’m crazy in my head. But God is kind. And this article, “Dad, I Think I know All the Bible Stories Now,” came to mind right then. About a father who realized that for much of his son’s life he, without realizing it, had been teaching him that Sunday worship, the spiritual disciplines, etc. were about learning something new every time rather than worship. I can relate with that. Thinking it’s just about learning. But I think the danger more for me is thinking it’s about productivity. What can I do with this? How can I multiply this? What problems can I tackle and solve with this? How can I apply this to myself to cure my ailments and weaknesses? How can I apply this to others? Learning and productivity aren’t horrible things. They’re good things. But not at the expense of worship. Not in lieu of worship. My relationship with God is important. Sitting at His feet in quietness and adoration is important. It’s good to fall back on that. Again and again. He loves me — wondrous thought! And I love Him.
Monday mornings are for worship, too.