His invisible hand.

March 28, 2009

Living at home for the past few years and reconnecting with old friends has really stirred up the old memory bank.

Today, I started to think about the different people and things God has used in my life to transform, mold, and draw me closer to Himself.  There were (and are) so many of them, but here are a handful of them:

Dad

He was the first believer God placed in my life.  My dad isn’t a perfect man.  But to my old age I don’t think I’ll ever forget the times he repented of his sins before God with tears.  Because we’d sometimes be affected by them, he’d gather us (his family) around him as he repented.  Not only would he apologize to us, he would pray with us in his brokenness.  I’ll never forget its influence on me.  Through my dad, I learned of a God who forgave.  Of a God who restored.  And I learned what it meant to grieve over my sin and run to Jesus with it.  Through all kinds of trials and hardships, my dad’s clung to his faith; and though he didn’t use so many words, his example counseled me to do the same.

Mom

God has been changing my mom’s heart toward Him over the years.  I don’t know for sure where she stands before Him today, but there was a time in my life when I wondered if she would ever feel anything but hostility towards Him.  I can’t think of anyone else God has used more to break my heart for those who don’t know Him.  And aside from maybe one other person, I can’t think of anyone else God has used more to drive me to my knees in prayer.  As she’s been slowly changing, she’s been one of the greatest reasons for rejoicing in my life, too.

Mrs. Lindsay

Mrs. Lindsay was a lady from my church with a huge heart for God, for evangelism, and for children.  I was her assistant for Good News Clubs (for children 4-12 years old) and her assistant on my first mission’s trip to Mexico.  She encouraged me to train to lead my own kids’ clubs, so I spent every summer of high school volunteering as a summer missionary for Child Evangelism Fellowship (CEF).  She faithfully picked me up for the week-long training all those years and dropped me off at home after; the time I spent with her in commute was where I learned the most about her and her passion for the lost.  She labored for His kingdom, especially in prayer, and it was through training with her in CEF that I received assurance of salvation my first year of high school.

Jinny

I spent the first two years of college really praying for an older woman who could disciple and counsel me, someone whose honesty and godly wisdom I could invite into my life.  During my second year of college, I went to Jinny’s baby shower (for her third daughter), and our pastor’s wife, Ange, was sharing a little about Jinny before the gift-opening time.  From Ange’s sharing about Jinny, I just remember thinking, “Here’s a woman who loves, honors, and supports her husband; a woman who shepherds her children; and a woman who doesn’t sit in the limelight but serves Christ and His body in ways that are unseen to men.  I need to get to know her!”  And to this day, she is one of the few people who can gently (but so cuttingly and precisely) reveal the sins and motives of my heart and then point me to the Savior.  I want to imitate her as she imitates Christ.

D-House Romans Bible Study

My first year of college, God put me in a sweeet dormitory.  D-House was the name of the two floors that made up our “house.”  The two floors shared a common lounge and had a spiral staircase that connected the two floors.  I soon found out that there was about 7 of us believers in D-House, and under the leadership of Carlan (who was a third year and affectionately called “Papa Carlan”), we coalesced into a Bible study.  Carlan led us verse by verse through Romans, and it was the first time I came face to face with the depth of the gospel and God’s sovereignty.  God used this Romans study to lay down the bedrock to my faith.

Lighthouse’s Galatians Study

We studied Galatians my second year of college in women’s discipleship.  I never knew how much of a legalist I was until this year.  My sophomore year of college was one of pretty deep depression (too bad I didn’t read Spiritual Depression until my first year out of college); I was driven to despair by the sin I saw in my heart.  And I ran to one extreme to the next: one day, I questioned and agonized over my salvation, and the next day, I set strict guidelines and fasted and made all kinds of vows to God and myself.  I was driven into deeper depression as I saw that no amount of good resolutions and renewed vows could change my heart.  But as we studied Galatians, God made it clear that He was my Savior and my Sanctifier.  Having begun in the Spirit, I wasn’t now being perfected by the flesh.  The doctrine of His grace was never more real … or more beautiful.

. . .

There are other people and things He’s used over the years.  Some years, I wondered where He was and why He wasn’t doing anything.  A few of those years, I spent rebelling in my heart against Him and trying to convince myself He wasn’t even there.  But He’s used people and things to reveal His invisible but sure hand in my life.  I guess our lives sometimes read like the book of Esther; there’s no blatant reference to God, but it’s undeniable that He is Savior and Sovereign behind and through it all.

Who are some people God’s used in your life?  What are some things in your life He’s used to draw you closer?  I pray you’re encouraged as you reflect on His invisible hand in your own life.  To God be all the glory!

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2 Responses to “His invisible hand.”

  1. Cassie Says:

    Thanks for sharing those with us!

    I try to think about people or things that God has used to shape and mold me into a better woman. Off the top of my head, I know that marriage is one of them! There are obviously more, but marriage is a really good one.

  2. tia Says:

    I like your marriage a lot … or rather, the two people in them :]


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