A conversation with Doubt.

October 23, 2009

CHRISTIANA, weeping.

DOUBT: What does your love for Him avail you?  Miser, look about you.  Do not tell me that you see Love’s workings here.

CHRISTIANA: Doubt, I cannot keep you from speaking into my ear, but I will not cherish your counsel.  You would bring me down to Sheol.

DOUBT, with feigned surprise: What?  I merely said to — look — about — you.  Can you confidently tell me that this is the working of a God who loves you?

CHRISTIANA, with a struggle: He loved His Son.  And for my sake, He did not withhold His hand from His only Son.  How can you now ask me to doubt Him?

DOUBT: But that was then.  You trust His hand even now as He lays down this heavy stroke?

CHRISTIANA: It is true — I cannot see the full extent of His hand.  It is shrouded in mystery, as it was when His only Son cried to Him on the cross.  I cannot see the full extent of His hand, but I know His person.  I know His character.  I — know — Him.

DOUBT, sarcastically: A likely tale, no doubt.

CHRISTIANA: Doubt, would you answer a few of my own questions?

DOUBT, smugly: Sure.

CHRISTIANA: And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose.  For those whom He foreknew He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, in order that He might be the firstborn among many brothers.  And those whom He predestined He also called, and those whom He called He also justified, and those whom He justified He also glorified.

DOUBT: Miser, I recognize your sword.  You are speaking His Word, but where are your questions?

CHRISTIANA: I continue: What then shall we say to these things?  If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare His own Son but gave Him up for us all, how will He not also with Him graciously give us all things?

DOUBT, mockingly: Yes — look at what He has so graciously given you.  What has He given to you but loss?  What has He given to you but tribulation and distress and persecution and famine and nakedness and danger and sword?

CHRISTIANA: But you evade my questions, Doubt.  Answer me this: Who shall separate us from the love of God?  Shall tribulation — or distress — or persecution — or famine — or nakedness — or danger — or sword?

DOUBT, wincing: You would believe that though you are being slayed?

CHRISTIANA: Doubt, it is not I who is being slayed at the moment.  Who shall separate us from the love of God?  Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword?  As it is written, ‘For Your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.’  No — in — all — these — things — we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.

DOUBT, desperately: But look!  You are weeping, woman!  Can tears yet speak of trust?

CHRISTIANA: For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

DOUBT, crying out: You — You’ve thrust me through!


DOUBT, clutching his side: Oh, I see what you are about, woman.  I will leave this time, but I won’t be far.  And I assure you, you won’t recognize me so quickly the next time we meet.  I’ve crushed the mightiest of men and will not be so easily defeated. I’ll be back again, miser.

CHRISTIANA: So you will.  And so my God and His Word will be nearer still.

(Inspired by John Piper’s A Conversation with Death on Good Friday.)


2 Responses to “A conversation with Doubt.”

  1. keziahkim Says:

    what encouragement. can always count on you, dearest tia, for that =) miss you~

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