May 28, 2010

My grandpa’s been gone for almost two years now.  I still miss him.  A lot.

And on days like today, I wish I could still drive over to see him.  The last year of his life, he was usually sleeping when I went to visit him.  I’d put my Bible on his nightstand and just sit next to his bed and watch him as he slept.  It was a quiet, safe place.

When he was awake, our conversations were simple, meaningful, loving.  Sometimes, they were confused.  But I miss that.

He was frail.  He couldn’t walk.  I had to help the nurses lift him sometimes.  He could move his head side to side, shift his legs, and move his arms.  That was all.  He wasn’t physically strong anymore, but I always felt safe with him.  He came to know Christ in the last few years of his life, and when everything else was shifty, I knew I could visit him.  To this day, the fellowship I had with my grandpa is one of the most unique, sweetest fellowships I’ve enjoyed with another person.

Looking back, I guess associating his room with “refuge” had nothing really to do with the place.  He was in a skilled nursing facility, so there were always monitors beeping, nurses hurrying in and out, visitors walking by, and residents talking or yelling.  The refuge wasn’t the place; it was being with him.

There’s something special, something significant about that, isn’t there?  That refuge isn’t a place.  That it’s a Person.


5 Responses to “Refuge.”

  1. Ramsin Says:

    your posts have a way of softening this hardened heart

  2. AJ Lee Says:

    tia. thank you for sharing. He is our only refuge. I’m thankful your grandpa is with our Lord. Hope you are doing well Tia.

  3. tia Says:

    thankful for you friends/brothers…

  4. Ji Young Says:

    Oh my…this entry made me tear up and my heart swell so much. Such beautiful memories you had with your grandpa. It is people not places that you find blessings, joy, beauty, inspiration, isn’t it? And, thank you so much for your encouraging words about my blog entry. Yes, it’s wonderful opportunities…and you HAVE to come visit me if I do move. I would LOVE that so much!

  5. tia Says:

    :]]] and love to you.

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