The lies of suffering.

September 13, 2010

“Isolation is better than company.  After all, it’s better to suffer with loneliness than with relational pain.”

“Others only hurt me.  They cannot help me.  I do not need them.”

“I can’t rely on or trust anyone.  I have to look out for myself, because no one else will.”

“No one knows the problem like I do, so no one can find the remedy like I can.”

“I have a right to despise God and others.  Others, for being blessed with what I’ve been denied, and God, for denying me and blessing others.”

“I’m not responsible for my sin.  People and circumstances make me that way.”

“If I want to stop sinning in my response, I have to cut people out and escape or ignore my circumstances … or my only other option is to just resign myself to the fact that this is hopelessly and helplessly who I’ve become and must forever be.”

“When people ask how I’m doing, they’re either being nosy to gratify their heartless curiosity, or they’re asking merely out of obligation; they don’t really care or want to be burdened by me.  Or, worse, they’re looking to help me just to elevate their opinions of themselves, helping me and thinking what a great help and comfort and ‘savior’ they are to people like me.”

“It’s just me against the world.  Or sometimes, just me and God against the world.  It depends on how He’s feeling about me that day.”

“God is my adversary.  He’s against me.”

“I can’t bear my own burdens and still continue to pursue others in gospel ministry.”

“All of life must shut down and be put on hold until this pain is resolved.  I cannot function otherwise.”

“People should just be able to tell that something is wrong without even asking me.”

“I’m justified for being closed off and small-hearted.”

“No one else has gone through what I’ve gone through; I should be admired for my sufferings.”

“No matter how much I push them away while hurting, they should understand and keep seeking me out.”

“No one knows.  No one cares.”

“I can’t build or grow other relationships when relationships so close to me are falling apart.”

“I have nothing to give others until all my lessons are learned and this present suffering is a thing of the past.”

“People don’t like dealing with those who suffer, so it’s better to feign normalcy in order to preserve other relationships.”

“It’s impossible to open my heart when I’m hurting.”

“If I act like everything’s okay, things will eventually become so on their own.”

“Time heals everything.”

“Others can’t give me valuable counsel unless they’ve been through exactly what I’m going through.”

“So I’ve heard of others who responded better to similar sufferings, but that’s because they have a different personality and temperament.  They don’t feel things as keenly as I do.”

“Inviting people into my sufferings will only increase my suffering and theirs.”

“Until I understand everything, I will not be able to emerge from this.”

“The problem comes from without, but the answer comes from within, so the best use of my time is in introspection.”

“Praying is too burdensome.”

“The Bible has nothing to say on this matter.”

“I’m hopeless, helpless, comfortless.”

“God’s silence is His absence.”

“I’ve been abandoned.”


5 Responses to “The lies of suffering.”

  1. Kau Says:

    you have struck chords in the heart of every Christian…

  2. tia Says:

    this was really helpful for me to do. my emotions were going nuts, and i needed to hear what i was really believing and responding to. the harder part now is replacing each of these lies with truth. so much easier listening to self than telling self truth, but God is our help …

  3. David Says:

    That is some list … and I would imagine a painful birthing process to get the feelings into words on “paper”.
    May the Lord give insight and wisdom and strength to counteract “the lies of suffering” with faith that grows stronger by being stretched, and then that peace that passes all human wisdom comprehension or expectation.

  4. David Says:


    “Adversity is the diamond dust Heaven polishes its jewels with.”
    (Robert Leighton)

  5. tia Says:

    thank you, david!! your comments are always so, so encouraging.

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