Heartbeat in my tummy.

October 25, 2012

As I’m writing this, a little heartbeat is thumping away in my “tummy.”  A little heartbeat that’s just under 12 weeks old.

A very welcome heartbeat, but one that makes me excited and fearful all at once.  Um and nauseated, but I’m trying to resist that thought from ruling my life right now, which is a wee bit difficult.  It is also amusing at times … like when JE gave me a kiss on the cheek the other day and immediately after I gagged.  The timing was pretty funny.  :]

When I was younger, my dad would always tell me about how he was learning much of the same things about God and His ways, only in deeper shades each time.  It’s one of my favorite analogies about the deepening knowledge of God and His grace — one brush stroke of color on top of the other, becoming more rich and full in color.  More red.  More blue.  More sage.

In this season, the thought of His tender sovereignty is a good place to rest.  Especially when I can’t look and see what’s happening with baby every minute.  Especially when my mind goes to the future and I think of all the possible horrible sinful mom things I might say or do.

But God is better.  The gospel is true.  Baby’s in better Hands than ours.  We’re in better Hands than ours.

Resting, resting in that.

Oh, and please don’t be offended if I gag at you until the nausea subsides.  It’s nothing personal.  :]

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14 Responses to “Heartbeat in my tummy.”

  1. cindy Says:

    wahoooo! CONGRATS TIA!!! I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU GUYS!!

  2. cathie Says:

    ahhhh congrats tia!!!!! so excited for you! :]

  3. Angela Maddox Says:

    Congratulations from me, too! I don’t know you personally, but I so enjoy your thoughts and ponderings.

    I have been blessed with two boys, age 12 and 9 now, and I have had many good moments, and yes, also many “horrible, sinful mom” moments. God is faithful, Tia, and you can trust Him to take your feeble efforts and knit them together for this baby’s spiritual and emotional health, just as sure as He is physically knitting this precious one together in your womb. I pray for God’s blessings for you and your husband on this new and wonderful journey! And NO nausea!

  4. Margie Says:

    We are so thrilled for you and JohnE! What a sweet way to close the day out – learning that our dear Tia (aka Cookie) is going to be a mommy. Congratulations!

  5. Moon C. Says:

    A;KJD;FAHOHFLAHWLIEUHALWKJFLAWKJEFOAWOIHFALKJGFLAHUHLWEJFS

    ^INCOHERENT THOUGHTS OF JOY AND HAPPINESS. ;_______;

  6. kg Says:

    CONGRATULATIONSSSSSSSS

  7. babyglende Says:

    Learning that your baby is in God’s hands will be something that you will continually learn in the womb and out of the womb! Congrats!!!!

  8. babyglende Says:

    Not sure if my other comment posted but may you continually trust in God for your baby in and out of the womb!! Congrats Tia!!!

  9. dictionator Says:

    congratulations! =)

  10. keziahkim Says:

    ❤ !

  11. tia Says:

    thanks everyone!!!

    angela, thanks for the encouragement! ❤ and i showed my husband your comment — "NO nausea!" amen! hehe.

    wury (babyglende), YES. at 4-5 weeks, the ob we saw was kind of hinting that we should prepare for a miscarriage because things didn't seem right, etc. so for a couple weeks, i was scared that i would lose our baby and scared of pain that could hit any moment. so crazy realizing i'm in zero control of my own body. but learning to trust Him even still, even though things look well right now! eeep!

  12. skyr is actually cheese Says:

    !!!

  13. mimi Says:

    :))

    praying for you & the little one!


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