22 days.

June 5, 2013

Ian is just over 3 weeks old today.  Two quick thoughts on my mind today as he’s currently napping and may wake up soon:

1. Motherhood is gospel application.  I read this article this morning, and I’m clinging to the godly, motherly wisdom in it.

“… so we take what we believe about God and the gospel and faith and life, and we apply it in the places that seem too little for it … This is a time to take the grace that God has extended to you, and feed your children with it. Apply what you believe about God’s mercy and kindness and long suffering towards us, and pour it out to them — in a form they can believe in. Unrest like this is just like a baby crying for a bottle — only what they need is spiritual milk. They need you to feed them, not with a lecture, but with application … Of course, this side of heaven we will not do perfectly. Harsh words will be spoken, patience will wear thin. Frazzled mothers will act frazzled. And when this happens, our own sinfulness does not detract from the power of the gospel, it illustrates why we need it. Do not use your own mistakes as an excuse to wallow about what a bad mother you are. Repent, seek forgiveness, get it right, and move on. Believe. Be forgiven. Extend that forgiveness, that belief, that joy, to your children.”

2. I’m so grateful for JE.  When I forget the gospel during these early days of mothering, he’s there to remind me.  Not always with words.  Sometimes there isn’t time anymore to sit down, talk things out, speak truth to each other, and to extend gospel grace to each other through words.  But fatherhood and being a husband is gospel application, too.  Especially when your wife is frazzled.  And falls into the easy myopia of caring for a newborn — feed, clean, diaper change, lull to sleep, put back to sleep, soothe, diaper change again, hungry already?!, is this a growth spurt?, please sleep!,  awake already?!, feed, repeat, repeat, repeat.  And when your wife starts to really believe that feeding and sleeping are the be-all and end-all of life.  When she is cranky.  When she fails.  When she isn’t coherent enough to carry a conversation.  At times like that, he extends the gospel to me through his actions.  Love covering a multitude of sins.  Overlooking.  Giving a kiss instead returning evil for evil.  Gentle reminders.  An undeserved embrace or word of encouragement.

And in those moments, I’m reminded of the gospel.  He didn’t have to say anything.  Sometimes, I do need to hear it.  But sometimes, the application is enough to remind me.  And I just look at him with tears rolling down my face for the hundredth time.  Probably a mix of postpartum hormonal tears and just genuine gratitude, haha.  But gratitude is there.  For Christ in my husband.

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